I recently posted a short snippet of our wedding video on my Instagram.
This wasn’t the original video we had made. Our wedding videographer, Jubsi put together some great clips but it wasn’t really “us”. They shot some amazing footage and were kind enough to give me the raw clips.
Last week, I passed them to Moo, my little sister and said “you know what to do”. She has this weirdly cool way of putting together videos and I’m a huge fan of her editing style. When she showed me what she had come up with, I instantly wanted to share it with everyone!
Within the hour, I got a few sweet comments about how much some people liked the video, and a few people commented on the dress I wore for our nikah. So I think it’s finally time to tell you the story of the lace dress.
I didn’t know what to wear for the nikah – do I wear a baju kurung? Should I get something made? Do I rent an outfit from a bridal shop? I was confused and browsed Pinterest for inspiration and guidance. I settled on the idea of a slinky dress but was still open to other options.
Possible dream wedding dress! One of my shortlisted looks.
So Mims and I shopped around. We thought we’d be thrifty and buy something nice but cheap from H&M. They have so many nice white boho style dresses! We did get a very sweet dress from there, but didn’t end up wearing it (I wore it for my berinai brunch instead, haha).
Cute boho-esque dress from H&M
After trying on so many white, taupe, off-white, pearl, beige dresses, I fell in love with this gorgeous slinky dress from Ms Selfridge at ISETAN. It was fitting to the body, had amazing beaded detailing, felt like the ‘right kind of heavy’ when you held the material and glittered whenever it walked – I was sold! The only con – it didn’t have sleeves and there was huge cutout to show off your sexy back.
The Ms Selfridge dress! Yes, that’s my best attempt at photo-shopping out aurat.
We bought it and after gliding around in it at home we decided to secure all the beads on the dress by re-sewing on the beads. For weeks Mims and I sat in front of the TV, went through and tightened all the beads with extra strong thread, fixed the spots that were missing a few beads and knotted everything up nice and tight. We finally completed the whole dress after a few weeks (it’s a lot harder than you think!) and went to a tailor. He said he would put in chiffon sleeves that matched the champagne colour of the dress and close up the hole in the back. Awesome, cool, thank you Mr. Tailor!
We went to pick it up five days before the nikah and when I tried it on I burst into tears. He had spoiled my dress. All he did was was cut cloth into a basic shirt top and tacked it into the dress. I looked like a blinged out milk maid. I cried, I was so confused and angry. I didn’t want to pay him for the crappy job he did. How could he do this to me!?
Instantly Mims went into problem solving mode and took me back to the mall and we had to start the hunt all over again. I couldn’t get over my beaded dress and refused to look at anything. Everything looked so ugly! Nothing would ever come close to my champagne Ms Selfridge dress!
She made me try on a lace dress in Parkson that was way too big. “I hate it, I can’t get married in this.” Yes, 25 year old Iman threw a tantrum in the middle of the department store and a few ladies stared at my bridal meltdown. I sulked for a few minutes and Mims told me to get a grip. We have to find something and move on with life, she said #toughlove
We found a simple lace dress and decided that it was good enough. I didn’t want to get married in “good enough”, I deserved more than that #dramaqueenmuch
Not happy about this dress – can you tell?
Our neighbour came over and said that she’d help us take the dress in a bit around the loose areas and sew on some lace beading on the sleeves and waist. When I went to try the lace dress on the day before the nikah, I thought “okay, not so bad lah. I could get married in this.” I still didn’t love it, but it was something.
The morning of the nikah, I got my make up done, put on the dress and veil, and went off to the hall. I got there, everyone was waiting, Ashraf came, he said the right things, and then I became his wife. I don’t remember the lace dress, I don’t remember the heartache of looking like a bedazzled Dutch Lady mascot, I don’t remember the agony of finding the right thing to wear.
All I remember was Ashraf and how happy I felt. I only think about the lace dress when I go down to get a pair of shoes from Mims’ closet and I see it hanging there, and when I watch our wedding video.
Lesson: it really doesn’t matter what you wear, all that matters is the man you’re going to marry. And as cheesy and stupid as this sounds, it’s completely true. Yes, you still have to look good, but you won’t die if you don’t get the first, second of even third choice dress. So don’t stress over it too much k!